Halfway There

I rarely watch the Superbowl, but I do often watch the halftime show.  I am always amazed at what a big deal they make at halftime.

Well, here I am at the halfway point in my weight loss, lifestyle journey.  And I guess I was expecting more.

Since last August I have been using www.sparkpeople.com to help me on this journey.  One thing it encourages is to set goals, especially short term goals along the way.  I have not been good at doing this.  I think I have done myself a disservice by not having set some achievable goals to look back on and document what I have accomplished so far.

Now I have reached the halfway point and I am feeling disappointed.  The reasons for my disappointment are many.

For one thing, I am looking at my long term goals and not seeing as much progress as I would like to see by this point.  I want to get off some of my medications, specifically some of my blood pressure medicines and the Niaspan (for too low of good cholesterol).  Yet when I see my doctor, my BP, though lower than it has been, is still too high to consider taking away any medications.

I am told that weight loss should improve my sleep apnea, and eventually cure it.  I see no progress in that either - it is still just as bad as when I was first tested.

My most important goal is to have no back pain, to be able to walk and stand without excruciating pain.  Although I can walk a little further and stand a bit longer, I was hoping having lost this much weight I would see a lot more progress and a lot less pain.  But it is not the case.

I am further disappointed because since the end of March, I have only lost 10 pounds, and five of those was in a two week period a month ago.  I continue to stay within my calorie and nutritional ranges.  I am working harder than ever at the gym.  I see a personal trainer twice a week, once with a friend and once alone, to work on my back and abs.  

My dietitian has tried everything she knows to get me losing again and nothing is helping.  The latest plan is to skip the gym twice a week.  

John and I had plans to go away this coming week, but I just did not feel like it.  Having to eat out every meal, not knowing how I would get exercise in, and not losing weight for so long, I just could not face it.

Part of the disappointment is because knowing I have as much to lose as I have already lost, and coming to a standstill is confusing and frustrating, as well as scary.  I have been working so hard and getting nowhere - what is it going to take to lose the rest of this weight?

Everyone has their own ideas about what it will take - eat more, eat less, exercise more, exercise less, more carbs, less carbs, more fat, less fat - but what will it mean for me?

In my mind, I know I have done a good job so far.  I am wearing smaller sized clothes, I am more active, I can breathe better, I have a lap, I can play with Zack better, I am eating healthier.  My dietitian pointed out that I have added years to my life.  All of that is positive and wonderful.  Unfortunately I cannot get past the slow progress on my long term goals.  I am hoping once I get losing again, I will be able to get past this.

When I lose 3 1/2 more pounds I will be at the 100 pounds lost point.  I had set a goal to lose this by my birthday, 2009.  Since that is a little less than 2 months away, I sure hope I can make it.  

My plan is to keep on doing what I am doing, to make short term goals to celebrate along the way, to continue to work on my long term goals and to not give up the fight!  Can I do it?  Can I make it to the goal?  YES I CAN!

Bombay Hook Birds - Part 3 - 7/09

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Bombay Hook Birds - Part 2 - 7/09

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Bombay Hook Birds - Part 1 - 7/09

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Don't Worry, Be Happy

The past couple of weeks have been kind of a roller coaster.  Where do I begin?  

My hubby John was away for 11 days on a mission trip to the Galapagos Islands, 600 miles off the coast of Ecuador.  After 35 years, I am kind of used to having him around, so it was lonely without him.

Fortunately, 4th of July happened while he was gone and family and friends gathered here to celebrate Titusville's small town festivities.  Everyone pitched in - most especially my son Mike - and made it an enjoyable day for me.  I also met my son John's girlfriend for the first time (I had already met Mike's).  The only downside is my brother had an accident on the way home.  His car was damaged but he and his wife are okay - Praise the Lord.

Monday night I went out for dinner with my friend Barb and Tuesday I had a special treat.  I met my childhood best friend, Rose, for lunch.  We had not seen each other to visit in over a year so the conversation never stopped.  The time flew by way too quickly.

Tuesday night and Friday afternoon I worked with a personal trainer at the gym.  Wednesday night I went shopping with Barb and was happy to get some sale items in a smaller size than previously.

Friday morning I had an appointment with my dietitian.  Honestly, after the last visit, I was not looking forward to it.  Since March of 2008, I have been losing weigh consistently until the end of March 2009.  For some unknown reason, my body started holding on to the pounds, instead of letting them go.  I was exercising more than ever, eating all the right amounts, but making no progress.  And I was feeling discouraged enough.  Then at the previous dietitian appointment at weigh in I GAINED a pound.  I know it does not sound like much.  I know I have lost 90 pounds and should not be concerned about 1 pound gain.  But this had been going on for over three months now.  Working this hard and making no progress.  I record every bite of food that goes into my mouth.  I exercise a minimum of 500 calories per day, at least 6 days a week.  And to gain a pound put me over the edge.

At that visit the dietitian changed my eating plan to zig zag the calories - so the average calorie intake for the week remains the same, but the daily intake varies up and down.

SO here I am having to face the scale again, after the gain.  

The other disappointing thing to me was that I had been hoping to reach the halfway point in my weight loss, and instead I was a pound further from it.

When I stepped on the scale I had lost 5 pounds in two weeks.  I reached the halfway point!  WOOHOO!  (In my next blog maybe I will share some of my thoughts about reaching that milestone).

To continue on with my two weeks.  On July 10th, my cousin Judy's husband passed away at age 68.  It hit me hard because Don is from my generation, not my parents'.

Then I got news my Aunt Evelyn had been taken to the hospital, was in a coma and not expected to live.  I began to pray for her and the family.  And God did a miracle.  The doctors performed surgery to ease the pressure on her brain as well as tying off the leaking artery.  She is now awake and walking around.  Praise God.

Also John returned from his mission trip at the beginning of this week and has been dealing with an intestinal issue.  

SO the time has had its ups and downs.  I can thank God for His many blessings.  Next time - Halfway There.