Sunday, September 28, 2008

I Will Sing

I have been going through a rough patch of late and thinking of what helps me through. Music is something that I have always loved - and all kinds. So I thought I would share how some music has helped me during the trials in my life.
Anyone who knows me is aware that one of my favorite worship leaders is Don Moen. Listening to his music never fails to usher me into God's presence in a very real and powerful way.
Several years ago I sang in the church choir. It brought such joy to my worship experience to do this. Then my Mom got very ill and passed away. I was not ready to let her go. The way she suffered at the end and then her passing left me very confused and honestly angry at God. I quit the choir, as I just could not sing and praise God. I could hardly even listen to music, let alone sing. When I prayed I felt like there was a wall blocking me from God.
I guess depression was setting in, too. This went on for a couple of months.
One night John and I were in the car and Don Moen's "I Will Sing" cd was playing. I had listened to it lots of times since I got it about 6 months earlier. But this night I suddenly heard the words of "I Will Sing" :
Lyrics:
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart

Chorus:
I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart

Chorus
By the end of the song I was in tears. Then Don began to pray on the cd:
"For all of those who have lost their desire to sing, I pray God will put the melody back in your hearts."
I knew it was just for me. The heaviness lifted.
That song and prayer has brought me so much comfort, knowing that I am not alone in my feelings, and that God is still worthy of my praise because He is with me loving and comforting me all the time. In the midst of my hurting, I must CHOOSE to praise Him and it is in that place, I will find peace in the midst of the storms of life.

1 comment:

Del Smith said...

Love the lyrics of the song, Ruthie. Such a powerful message!