I have been quiet this week. There are a couple of reasons for this. In my last blog I opened up and poured out my heart. That was not easy. With the exception of a friend from Spark People, whom I have never met, there was no response. So I have not been brave enough to continue with that.
In addition, I have been fighting off a cold all week. With my weak lungs, I am extremely susceptible to germs and infection. So I have been getting plenty of rest, taking lots of extra Vitamin C and drinking lots of water. Apparently it did not do the trick.
I just returned from yet another visit to the doctor. I have bronchitis, extreme congestion in my chest and must return in a week to be checked again. At least my BP was good - 124/74.
On the way home I paid my second visit to CVS this week to pick up prescriptions - an antibiotic and an inhaler, both of which were free.
Needless to say I was feeling down and discouraged. The doctor said because of my respiratory weakness I really need to stay away from crowds.
Listening to my ipod on the way home, God lifted me once again. Dennis Jernigan's "If I Could Sit With You A While" played and brought tears to my already watery eyes.
"When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You
If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by
When I know I've sinned and I should have been
Crying out, "My God," and hidden in You
Lord, I need You now more than I know how
And so I humbly bow, hidden in You
If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by "
By Dennis Jernigan; ©1992 Shepherd's Heart Music
It mirrored my feelings so well. If I could just sit with Jesus a while and if He could just hold me, though I am sick and discouraged, I need Him to hold me.
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3 comments:
I'm sorry you're ill. I know it's hard to keep the end in sight. (I'm assuming the end is health). It's the same as our faith, that when hard times or bad times come it's sometimes difficult to remember that something better is on the way. Hang in there, I'm praying for you and pulling for you.
Ruthie - I know what it feels like to pour out your heart and feel that it was left laying on the floor. The bottom line, though, is that if the Lord prompted you to share, He knew who would answer. Your heart never dribbled onto the floor; He had it the whole time.
I do not say that in the sense of 'that should make you feel better' but more that 'as you experice this pain, know that He has you - even in the loneliness of not being responded to.
I will pray that your health improves.
Di
Sorry to hear that you are facing another health issue. I don't blame you for being sick of being sick. Although I am not by your side witnessing your battle on a daily basis, I've seen Melinda in her battle with the respiratory weakness and truly my heart sympathizes and prayers are daily for your health.
I am happy to see that God is using Dennis Jernigan's songs to minister to you. There is a depth of spirituality that flows through his songs that I don't feel in some Christian songs, at least not so consistently in song after song from the same singer/songwriter.
By the way, I know you were discouraged about the lack or response about your defining moments blog. I responded today. I always like to wait to read your blogs for a time I know I will have to repond if I have a response. So I don't check everyday. But I do pray for you everyday.
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